What To Do With The Kids When Visiting Grandma & Grandad

What To Do With The Kids When Visiting Grandma & Grandad Following our recent Facebook post about Alzheimer’s risk factors and prevention I want to share an idea born of my own experience when visiting my grandfather -who suffers from severe symptoms of Alzheimer’s and Dementia- with my young boys in tow. I'm writing this post for those of you that want to bring your young children to visit an elderly loved one but find it difficult to pair their fitful energy with your loved one’s environment and mental state. My grandfather was probably the most influential person in my life, but Alzheimer’s and Dementia have reduced him to the point that he does not recognize me, nor is he able to comprehend that my three children (a 6 month-old baby girl, and my 3 and 5 year-old boys) are his great grandchildren. I understand his disease, maybe even better than most because of the type of work I do. I also know that my story is no different from millions of others in that the stress, the heartbreak, and for some, the financial pressure that come with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia conspire to make this one of the most difficult family matters we encounter. The tug of sentimentality, the undying desire for my children to know and love my grandfather as I do, and my wish that he would be able to know and love them are ever colliding with the reality that our visits with him are, in spite of my understanding, painful for me and not at all fun for my boys. Besides the long drive (we live about two hours south of my grandparents) I have not made a great effort to visit my grandfather because there is, despite my best efforts, very little interaction between my children and my grandfather when we do visit. Going to see great-grandpa is simply a drag for them, and they are too young to understand why it's important to me. I often think about how we could make our visits with my grandfather more enjoyable for all of us but he's only getting older, with the disease outpacing our visits and his ability to recognize any of us now not even worth hoping for. I'm sharing this story with you today in hopes that as your parents or grandparents reach an age where Alzheimer’s and Dementia necessitate concern you are better prepared and have more tools at your disposal to make visits with them, kids in tow, a positive experience for all. There have been quantum leaps in our understanding of Alzheimer’s and Dementia over the last two years and among the findings are evidence that games can slow the onset of memory loss and help maintain physical coordination. Of course, kids love games and as it turns out the games that benefit the elderly in maintaining memory and coordination are the same types of games a child would play. Among them are: Word Games Alzheimer's patients often lose vocabulary and the ability to express themselves and articulate ideas. Games that require them to remember, reinforce and use some of that lost vocabulary can help them retain the ability to express themselves in some capacity for a longer period of time. Try fill-in-the-blank games that require patients to come up with the missing word from popular sayings like "A penny saved is a penny ------." You could also do simple word search or crossword puzzles, depending on how advanced the patient's illness is. Motor Skills Games Alzheimer's can affect motor skills because they are controlled by the brain. Alzheimer's patients frequently become clumsy or lose the ability to do things like brush their teeth or use silverware because the brain no longer sends the correct messages to the body. An easy game of catch with a soft foam ball or a game of basketball with a wide target, such as a laundry basket, can help improve hand-eye coordination. Ball-toss games, like a simplified bowling game using plastic bottles, also work for exercising motor skills and improving hand-eye coordination. Visual Games Games that require Alzheimer's patients to recall images may help strengthen their memory. You can play a simple game with images by collecting photographs of friends and family, famous places or people and animals. Glue them to flashcards and write the name of the image on the back of the card in large letters. Sit with patients and flip through the cards, asking them to name the images as best they can. If they forget, flip the card over so they can read the answer, or give them a clue. If I were able to turn back the clock I would have my five-year old and his great-grandfather playing these games together. Our visits would be fun for both of them, and ironically, they would benefit equally from playing these games -and I can imagine a few great photos would come of their interaction. Time and disease do eventually take their toll but I cannot impress upon you enough the value of just one great visit between a loved one and your child. I’m sure many of you can relate when I say that there are few ways to make a visit with young children a positive experience for all. Playing some of these suggested games on your next visit may just change all that, and even if only for a moment, it’s certainly worth a try.